Friday, December 18, 2009

In sooth i know not why i am so sad.

I'm a sad panda lately and i'm not sure why. I feel like i don't really have someone good to talk to about life. Don't get me wrong, i adore my friends and can talk to them, but not about my home life or shit that bothers me. I think i need a therapist. Mad shit just erks me lately. And i feel like shit constantly. I truly hate how life is a game of appearances. It's a game that quite frankly i will never win. There's always someone skinnier, prettier, and more stylish than you. And that's life. There's always that girl that your boyfriend would rather be with. And then it's like, well why is he with me? And not these other more perfect girls? It makes no sense. I want to be done with this life. and reincarnated into a better more fulfilled one.

Saturday, August 15, 2009


I want your opinions!
Starbucks coffee or dunkin donuts?
I personally prefer starbucks java chips. But DD's coffe.

So long Astoria.

So i havent updated in forever. Boo, sorry. ): i have a lot to update about! I moved! I love my new town and place, my room is awesome. ill make a post about it laterr. And I got a job! Its this place called Primas. The people are so chill and its really laid back. I love it. Hmmmm lets see. Today i woke up at 8 am to go to the grand opening of forever 21 in our mall. Me and Alexa got freee gift cards! I got these sick ass glasses.<3 theyre like metal legs and all vinage! I adore them. But i also got a tube top which is super cute. Then i went to barnes and noble! I got a new james patterson book and an ellen hopkins book i love her work. I also saw this bag and it made me thing of my best friends!<3 It said "My best friend is the kind of friend who would give me a book i never read"

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Im sick of smiling. and so is my jaw

So yesterday i was talking to my friend Andrew and asked him about his girlfriend. and so i was like well is she skinny, and he was like yeah shes like your size! He knows the way to a girl's heart. Anyhoo, bamboozle is soon. thirty days i believe. You know what that means?! My birthday is soon! (: but this year i get to spend my whole birthday weekend in DC watching my sister graduate. woo fucking hoo. Can never be just about me can it? NOPE. If anyone wants to be a doll, they'll buy me this for my birthday

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Ill love youre guts til the end of time. I want it to take cutepictures with my boyfriend. and other people, then line my wall with them. =] similar to mitchell Davis. anyhoo. OH, if you love me again, youll get me this for my birthday:

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I want it, so i can put lame ass clinky phone charms on it (: woohooo. or you cant vuy me a cat! Make that two, Cyrus JR, and muffins. Whatever, im out.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Me is in.

Lol people are so immature. I love it.

It's funny how your worst enemies always seem to
turn out to be all of your
best friend's best friends
But I folded and I told
These aren't things I saved to sink you
but I folded, I told
So draw or throw and I will explode

It's time for you to choose
the bullet or the chapstick
And you are far too cute or whatever he said

Every time I hear it I am wishing I was great
I wish her... past tense my best friend
But I folded and I told
These aren't things I say to save me
But I folded, I told
I hope she's caught in the explosion

It's time for you to choose
the bullet or the chapstick
And you are far too cute or whatever he said

It's time for you to choose
It's time for you to choose
the bullet or the chapstick
This is me in his room
This is me in his room
This is me in his room

Red, gold, I told
We don't play fair
Red, gold, I told
We never stand too close

So I update this almost every single day for you
I begin to hate you for your face and not just the things you do
Go tell him how my wrist is sore
from pulling at your insides all night
Nothing that you do is new to anything or anyone but you

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


I have plenty of friends, but i've come to realize that i only have a few people i consider to be really good friends. Sometimes it makes me sad that i dont have that group of people who are all friends and all hang out. But i enjoy hanging out with all my friends seperately. I've also realized that all of my friends are very different, and i talk to each of them about very different things. Dana, i talk to about everything, except like alot of shit at home. Bub, i talk to about life ahaha, but he's also the only person i actually tell my at home problems to, mad trust in bub. Nicole and Sami i talk about the most typical things. Like guys, and dumb shit in my life. Jon, i trust with everything, and he is one of my best friends, but i dont talk to him about anything... Idk why but i feel like he would think im like a pussy or something, and i just hate seeming like vulnerable i guess? Idk.. whatever

Thursday, January 22, 2009

If you've got a quarter, you can stick it my neck.

God i miss saves the day, they have got to be one of the greatest bands known to man(: ho hum, today was a pretty shit day. I can never find a nice outfit. Soo, i looked like shit and lost my favorite lipgloss which immediately put me in a bad mood. I learned, that i am a bitch hahaha. Sami and Nikki said i'll say anything about anyone without caring, which is true so i guess that makes me a bitch? whatevs. Im a go hard gym player. But today we were getting lectured about being late, so i was mocking the teacher and he mocked me back. And he got in like a pissing contest with me i was like lol wut!? Then as i continued, he said i was rude and nasty and he has no respect for me! I was dying. He can suck it! Lolll so when i get home i was talking to jon and his best friend and his gf were arguing about something. And i was like saying how i get what shes saying and coming from and he was like whatever. LAWLZ. I love this kid, but i swear he hates me, i really think he does. I dont blame him, i'm a dickk. whatever! Ho hum, im waiting for Andres to get tha fuck online so we can vchat! wtff So i added mad keychains to my keyring, its huge now I want a LV tote bag SOOOO BADDDDD. )): Ill write more laterrr im sleepy

Monday, January 19, 2009

One more time with feeling.

Andres' kittens.
Andres said i have a feminine face
Thats the best compliment hahaha
I wants to spoon real bad!

My babes texted mt the cutest hing this morning
I lubbs him!
Come rub my tummy it hurts =[

This is my favourite poem of all times.

It's really sad, but incredible.

once on a yellow piece of paper,
he wrote a poem
and he called it "chops"
because that was the name of his dog.
and that's what it was about
and his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
and his mother hung it on he door
and read it to his aunts
that was the year father tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
and let them sing on the bus
that was the year his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
and his mother and father kissed a lot
and the girl around the corner sent him a
valentine signed with a row of x's
and he had to ask his father what the x's meant
and his father always tucked him in at night
and was always there to do it
once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem called "autumn"
because that was the name of the season
snd that's what it was all about
and his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
and his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
and the kids told him
that father tracy smoked cigars
and left butts on the pews
and sometimes they would burn holes
that was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
and the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see santa claus
and the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
and his father never tucked him in at night
and got mad
when he cried for him to do it
once on a piece of paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
called "innocence; a question"
because that was the question about his girl
and that's what is was all about
and his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
and his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
becaue he never showed her
that was the year that father tracy died
and he forgot how the end
of apostle's creed went
and he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
and his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
and the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
that made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
and at three a.m he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly
that's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
and he called it "absolutely nothing"
becaue that's what it was really about
and he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
and he hung it on that bathroom door
because he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen

Sunday, January 18, 2009


I feel like shit, and i look like shit. I hate that. I just got back from my babes, i love seeing him, but i was just mad iritable this weekend and annoyed. I feel like he rarely wants to just be with me and nobody else. Its frustrating. But i little loves him. I need to go tanning bad! Im pale as shitttt. Gah, my ehad is pounding. I hope i can sleepover dana's, i miss her. ): This is a lame blog, sorry. Imm out.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Zac efron on my feet feet feet!

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Arent they so cuteee? I just love them. So i wore my cowboy boots TWICE this week, theyre so damn cute! i think cowboy boots can only go good with flannels, what do you think? Anyhoo, i wore my babe's hoodiee two days ago and i kept a tally going of how many people asked me about it. I was dying, it had his last name going across the back and they were like what is bodon, is that a type of clothing? I was like uhm dummyyy, its my BF, my bfrand, my boyfriends last name!
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Anyyyhoo, last night jonathan came over!<3 I love his midweeeeek trips to me. We spoooned, i love spooning with him. He's so perfecttt. i lubbs him.
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Btdubbbb, guess who is going to marlborooo prom? Me, dashh right.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Jan 11 09'

I want a cupcake tattoo so fucking bad on my foot. Its ridic, you have no clueee. Wow, i've had this blog set up for the longest time and this is the first time writinggg. Hmm, i love the weekend. This weekend i slept over my babe's house and made cupcakes with his sister<33 Shes adorable, i love her. Then we watched some tyler perry movie, and the Dark knight, but i feeels asleeep ): Overall, this weekend was deffinitely up to my standards. Ughhh i hate those hillshire farm commercials, theyre so annoying. Anyhoo, i hate fucking homework, gag me, so of course im procrastinating doing it. I need to go to a show ASAP, i wannnna fucking hxcore 2 step!